when it’s at the darkest…you know light is not far away

They asked me, “why?”

why don’t I

write anymore

and me, I reply

now can my pen cry

the tears of loss?

can my pen try,

to feel the sky,

orange with flames?

can my pen belie,

fear so high,

in a child’s eyes?

Can my pen be wry

about do or die?

About pain so real?

can my pen ever shy,

pain away, by the bye?

can it soothe a trauma?

can my pen ever

bring back  a child,

a father, mother or brother?

So I ask them why

so uselessly then I

should let my pen fly??


Dedicated to the victims of terrorism in Gaza, Pakland and around the globe. (Just see how meaningless this hollow condolence is ?? 😦   )

Borders of time

“So what about that Nobel? Or the journey to the moon? Or the thrill of sweeping at the ancient sites? Or better yet the rush of seeing numbers turn into gadgets and formulae into systems?”, she asked; the me, from that side of the border

“Yeah, what about them? Those were the dreams that fueled me to become what I am today! Every person has a right to dream!” said I; the me, from this side of the border

“Woohoo!” she snorted “….to become what you are today!!! Pray, what are you today!”

and before she could continue with her rhetoric, I jumped in ” I am a mature lady responsible for……”

“Mature eh? and Responsible???” she scoffed ” You sure you talking about yourself honey?” Me from across the border was very skeptic

“Oh don’t you  go undermining me now, because the person I am today is a lot better than the person who I was yesterday! Atleast in ways where it really counts” I was defensive

“HOW?” she wanted to know

“Well the younger me, though ambitious, was too non practical. Sometimes she was to self absorbed to understand how simple words and actions may hurt others. She was unable to understand that not everything is either black or white….the grey areas are actually what life is all about. Besides she never knew the pain of feeling another’s pain.” I from this side of the border became quiet and reflective

She, from the other side of the time, imaginative as she was, asked “So, it wasn’t that bad was it? I mean weren’t you much happier then? You believed in possibilities.”

I smiled, ” Girlie! believe in possibilities, I still do! I haven’t been abducted by aliens and gotten exchanged you know. I still have you in me….”

” Or you in me!” she quickly interjected

“Uh Uh” i negated ” No back then I wouldn’t have realized the poetic love even it it would have come and slapped me on the face. And as for happiness, well i was a melancholy child worried about the world then and i am a melancholy woman now worried about everything in general. Besides now I am happy not just on my behalf but on the achievements of others too, my husband’s ideas, my daughter’s smiles, my sister’s mirth, my brother’s success….well ain’t the grand now?”

“You have started to talk too much in riddles now you know, I don’t sense a clearly directed mind now….Where is your perspective for your life? your aims? She was becoming too nosy

“Sadly but truly I have lost my perspective!” I sighed sullenly

What? How can a person survive in the world without having a reason, I mean a personal aim to live for” She was after all the same old me, the ever believing in being the author of ones own story

“There are other things, for example becoming a better human being, thanking the Almighty for His wonders, living  in the moment and holding on to small happinesses that trickle down to us” I tried to explain to her slowly

“So, you’ll settle for being yet another average person” she, who had big dreams, was indignant

I gave her a faint smile “Not necessarily, besides nothing’s average and no ones a nobody”

“Oh come on that doesn’t answers my question, how will you touch others lives if you don’t become what you were destined to become!…. A SOMEBODY! ”  she who never gave up, was forceful

” Everybody is a somebody and they ought to be respected for that, for who they are and not just for the apparent laurels they carry” I was mellow, knowing she would not understand….though she would think she does

” Ofcourse! I know thaaat!” She was quick to counter

Bingo! I merely smiled

“What are you smiling so smugly about? And what about this ravenous need to be studying, reading and understanding the world if i am to become, *ugh*, you?” she was in total despair

I had started to grin ” It doesn’t hurt the mind to be used you know”

“Stop laughing, you are creeping me out!” she was becoming restless ” I won’t let my talents and achievements go to waste, you just wait and watch!”

” I know you won’t!” of that I was sure!


Though I am waiting till she meets me at this side of the border as time silently seeps my being into hers.


So there you stand in a line; a mountain, you and an insect. To you the mountain is well, gigantic and you feel so small that you shrivel uo inside and turn towards your Lord and Master saying His praises that indeed He is bigger than all. That is awe!

On the other hand, to an insect, say an ant you are a mountain and well mountain is another mountain but the insect thinks only about that crumb of sugar which it has to carry past you to its mates….and irrespective of the obstacles, irrespective of results and irrespective of what might happen it carries on towards, what it calls, its home. That is self respect!

And there our dear Allah mian says, (…and i am not quoting just giving a gist) that He has created us so we may explore and expand our intellect…….those of us who are ignorant are not momins…

So if you could see life as an observer of a crystal ball then you realize that there is always someone either bigger and better than you or someone smaller and not so good as you…always…..BUT…each of you has its own destiny to search, its own ‘Self respect’ to command. This is how nature helps us to stay sane….by letting us know that we all are important in whatever small way and to whomever who needs us.

Mark(et) my words!

I thought that MBA in marketing would be fun…don’t get me wrong…it is….but then again the engineer/logician in me refuses to die and alas to the utter mortification of my confident claim to be otherwise I rather enjoy the sole finance subject “financial econometrics” that i have selected. Anyways, just in case your thoughts go on ina tangent whether this is about the subject mentioned let me put a noose on your thoughts and lasso you back to my take on the marketing subjects that i am studying.

Consumer behavior is by far the most favorite of mine….probably because like everyone else i take myself to be an expert on human psyche and their habits…(As if!)

I love brand management…it’s fun and full of stories…and who dislikes a story or two…perhaprs with a bit of scandals and intrigue thrown in..the mighty power clashes and publicity wars adding to the action…It’s not entirley without its merits

Industrial marketing is all about the high and the mighty….negotiations and deals…..the nitty gritty of fueling the businesses’ business….i think i have an affinity for that too

Project management is after all ‘project‘ management  and who has a life without projects…be it only be getting my lil daughter’s bag ready for a trip away…so that’s not bad either…

SO WHAT!!! …..is the purpose you may ask, is of writing this collection of marketing courses intro’s ….just that I have realized…a lot of it is actually practical based and should be taught out in the field rahter than within the class rooms…The bug that crawls my skin is that, these great subjects are based on a lot of talks….talks…research….talks….and well yeah….talks……

That gets to me…discussion is one thing but application is entirely another for a degree such as this..marketing..”For the people and by the people” (With all due respect to the American democracy :-)). I’m not bad in class, not very good either, coz lets face it i have a hard time rattafying theories but yes i like analyses ( UHOH the engineer in me). So though I am learning a lot (and you learn even in the lamest of the situations) I would much rather go heads on in the market and fling the theoris there than  in a rather overtly (though not entirely true) confident manner in the airconditioned comfort of the class room.


P.S. this doesn’t mean that my prospective employers should take me to be an illeterate windbag…. this is just a prelude to……

P.P.S hehe i love teaser marketing 😛

Brother Dear!


Note: This one’s for my brother who went to Australia yesterday for his studie……. Love you Doggy! 😛


And so we waved a wistful goodbye

As you hoisted your bags; got ready to fly

And in that instant

That lift of your face; the glint in your eye

And that slight tremble of your wave

Pleaded to call you back

To stop your advent

And though our hands were raised and

Heads were bent,

And clothes still carried your scent,

Though eyes bespoke the floods behind

Heart ached and shattered the mind

Our lips were sealed

Words were locked

To let you soar, set you free

To let you find your destiny

To make you a man you wish to be

 Though your steps faltered

And our insides crashed

We stood tall, carrying a smile

Veiling that salty, painful tear

As you walked away to the new worlds

My brother dear!




Its funny how a stray mind can draw a specifically vivid conclusion….. This time it was brought on by the ever increasing and deeply disturbing socioeconomic teeter tottering of PakLand. There I was worrying, and without any use of worrying that a strange analogy of post revolution France and present day Pakland hit me…

When France was at its worst and people were dying for a morsel of bread …and when Mary Antoinette suggested eating cakes that there was Renaissance. That was the time, in the dark ages when expressionists and artists came forward and that was the time when people started to come up with having an opinion!

And now when I look around I see more and more of youth going towards alternative careers; arts, drama,  fashion, eventmanagers, bloggers and advertisers and whatnot…..because it  is in these rollercoasters of flying and dipping emotions that people feel a need to express…it is in the fear that we need to vent out what’s pent up and frustrates.

Maybe just maybe these times of turmoil and agony are a forerunner of another renaissance…a renaissance which will shape the face of arts of expression in this part but one which may be so strong and opinionated in itself that it may entirely snudge the clear lines of culture and values that we  have so long held so dear and beloved.


err does that make any sense….uh who cares…i was just expressing what i felt 😛

I was here ;-)

Well so getting married can sure put a huge dent in your social and personal life calender …and boy does it make you go about in circles…so anyways here i am with internet access for a limited time so i thought i’d drop a word or two just to let my ardent readers (yeah right 😛 )know that i am not dead hehe..just plain busy, putting make-up on my face and attending all those post wedding parties…whew that’s tiring…hope the blogging world’s all good..

Be back with something that makes sense a bit later, till then…pray for the people in Gaza, the sensitive Pak and India border conditions and yeah the intermittent quakes that are cming around the globe :-S Allah mian bless us all, aameen

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