Borders of time

“So what about that Nobel? Or the journey to the moon? Or the thrill of sweeping at the ancient sites? Or better yet the rush of seeing numbers turn into gadgets and formulae into systems?”, she asked; the me, from that side of the border

“Yeah, what about them? Those were the dreams that fueled me to become what I am today! Every person has a right to dream!” said I; the me, from this side of the border

“Woohoo!” she snorted “….to become what you are today!!! Pray, what are you today!”

and before she could continue with her rhetoric, I jumped in ” I am a mature lady responsible for……”

“Mature eh? and Responsible???” she scoffed ” You sure you talking about yourself honey?” Me from across the border was very skeptic

“Oh don’t you  go undermining me now, because the person I am today is a lot better than the person who I was yesterday! Atleast in ways where it really counts” I was defensive

“HOW?” she wanted to know

“Well the younger me, though ambitious, was too non practical. Sometimes she was to self absorbed to understand how simple words and actions may hurt others. She was unable to understand that not everything is either black or white….the grey areas are actually what life is all about. Besides she never knew the pain of feeling another’s pain.” I from this side of the border became quiet and reflective

She, from the other side of the time, imaginative as she was, asked “So, it wasn’t that bad was it? I mean weren’t you much happier then? You believed in possibilities.”

I smiled, ” Girlie! believe in possibilities, I still do! I haven’t been abducted by aliens and gotten exchanged you know. I still have you in me….”

” Or you in me!” she quickly interjected

“Uh Uh” i negated ” No back then I wouldn’t have realized the poetic love even it it would have come and slapped me on the face. And as for happiness, well i was a melancholy child worried about the world then and i am a melancholy woman now worried about everything in general. Besides now I am happy not just on my behalf but on the achievements of others too, my husband’s ideas, my daughter’s smiles, my sister’s mirth, my brother’s success….well ain’t the grand now?”

“You have started to talk too much in riddles now you know, I don’t sense a clearly directed mind now….Where is your perspective for your life? your aims? She was becoming too nosy

“Sadly but truly I have lost my perspective!” I sighed sullenly

“What? How can a person survive in the world without having a reason, I mean a personal aim to live for” She was after all the same old me, the ever believing in being the author of ones own story

“There are other things, for example becoming a better human being, thanking the Almighty for His wonders, living  in the moment and holding on to small happinesses that trickle down to us” I tried to explain to her slowly

“So, you’ll settle for being yet another average person” she, who had big dreams, was indignant

I gave her a faint smile “Not necessarily, besides nothing’s average and no ones a nobody”

“Oh come on that doesn’t answers my question, how will you touch others lives if you don’t become what you were destined to become!…. A SOMEBODY! ”  she who never gave up, was forceful

” Everybody is a somebody and they ought to be respected for that, for who they are and not just for the apparent laurels they carry” I was mellow, knowing she would not understand….though she would think she does

” Ofcourse! I know thaaat!” She was quick to counter

Bingo! I merely smiled

“What are you smiling so smugly about? And what about this ravenous need to be studying, reading and understanding the world if i am to become, *ugh*, you?” she was in total despair

I had started to grin ” It doesn’t hurt the mind to be used you know”

“Stop laughing, you are creeping me out!” she was becoming restless ” I won’t let my talents and achievements go to waste, you just wait and watch!”

” I know you won’t!” of that I was sure!

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Though I am waiting till she meets me at this side of the border as time silently seeps my being into hers.

Respect

So there you stand in a line; a mountain, you and an insect. To you the mountain is well, gigantic and you feel so small that you shrivel uo inside and turn towards your Lord and Master saying His praises that indeed He is bigger than all. That is awe!

On the other hand, to an insect, say an ant you are a mountain and well mountain is another mountain but the insect thinks only about that crumb of sugar which it has to carry past you to its mates….and irrespective of the obstacles, irrespective of results and irrespective of what might happen it carries on towards, what it calls, its home. That is self respect!

And there our dear Allah mian says, (…and i am not quoting just giving a gist) that He has created us so we may explore and expand our intellect…….those of us who are ignorant are not momins…

So if you could see life as an observer of a crystal ball then you realize that there is always someone either bigger and better than you or someone smaller and not so good as you…always…..BUT…each of you has its own destiny to search, its own ‘Self respect’ to command. This is how nature helps us to stay sane….by letting us know that we all are important in whatever small way and to whomever who needs us.

I was here ;-)

Well so getting married can sure put a huge dent in your social and personal life calender …and boy does it make you go about in circles…so anyways here i am with internet access for a limited time so i thought i’d drop a word or two just to let my ardent readers (yeah right 😛 )know that i am not dead hehe..just plain busy, putting make-up on my face and attending all those post wedding parties…whew that’s tiring…hope the blogging world’s all good..

Be back with something that makes sense a bit later, till then…pray for the people in Gaza, the sensitive Pak and India border conditions and yeah the intermittent quakes that are cming around the globe :-S Allah mian bless us all, aameen

Now THIS is called ‘Detailed Searching’!!

 

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The original source is already mentioned however i got it from here.

words & cheek!

It’s interesting the way that over the last year my most active post has been ‘Lost… Lives and love‘…partly because of its title which seems to show a promise of a juicy, soap opera tale of broken dreams and trampled hearts….hehe sorry to break the bubble but it’s quite to the contrary…containing all the seriousness and dryness coming with that seriousness 😛 Well it’s also active because of this picture ‘butterfly dreams‘ which I picked up from …yeah where else: www.deviantart.com …it’s an amaing image and one of my personal favorites too…

However…this post is not to rant about Rabia’s most active…but it’s about this interesting shift that I have seen over the last two days…. my most active is still the same post however my last post: “Stupid-Me-Not” has been getting the most hits and is selling like hot cakes , if i may use this expression:-) Umm no wonder teh follies of one are the  source of entertainment for another….hehe it’s quite amusing actually….

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so what does this senseless chit chat all boils down too??………that if you want to see some high peaks on your blog status charts…then use the following words in ur subject lines:

love….lonely…..tears….stupid

Umm is it just me or does someone else can also see a relationship between the four perfectly innocent, indifferentand (in)discrete words i mentioned above??? 😛

Googl(E) talk!@|@

• Imagine …………sorry my imagination ran out and inspiration got buried somewhere so I leave you with nothing more than ‘Imagine’…….. and no This is not a tribute to John Lennon for his ‘Imagine’, I am not that well read into ‘Humanist Theory’ to actually start following it…

 

• Sometimes I wonder…..sorry to disappoint you people but I do have a brain, so I wonder…why do I have so many questions??? (Umm wasn’t that a question too? And this was also one?…yes they were questions!!) somewhere I once read:

‘It’s good to have some questions than all the answers!”……….but what good is having all questions and having an always questioning brain?? (Oh God…why do my statements always end with question marks?? …err 😛 )

 

• This 14^th August I saw places in Lahore decorated with blue lights…reminded me of 4^th of July instead…the bomb blast in Lahore just before the date changed to the Independence Day was so not worth having a blast !

 

• I saw the Lunar eclipse on 16^th umm say 17^th August…in the habit of watching the sky, had seen the full moon earlier that night and not being a newspaper licker, was totally unaware of the upcoming eclipse. At 2:00 am had gone out in the verandah of my Mamu’s place in Lahore and as usual looked up and to my utter horror saw a ‘Black’ Moon instead! It was a Stephen King moment…now it reminds me of his ‘Dolores Claibirne’, though it relived a solar eclipse

 

• Time is relative..that much was found by Einstein….man he sure had a lot of it to spare I think 😛 but dare anyone else say anything to the honorable scientists and mathematicians…I hold them in high reverence and esteem. So time passes and then you miss the stupidest things…time can stand still too…in ‘Great Expectations’ by Charles Dickens a jilted bride holds it forever for the same instance…nah not in mood to narrate how 😀

 

• Carpe Diem! Whatever…right now I am too lazy and uninspired to even hold the day’s hand let alone seize it…hehe I am making no sense and yet I know if you’ll sit back and think senseless such thoughts will naturally pop up.

 

• Having Ideas is a good thing, as the tagline of a brand says: “an Idea! can change your life” I agree…good ideas are worth having…not so good ones can be made better however the evil ones can be slept over….but first we need to know these various types…

 

• In an E test that I took I scored 1% less than the average for ‘Face Recognition” and 4% less than the average in ‘Placement of the faces I recognized”…….God my memory is developing leaks very fast L…but have never been good in remembering faces however oddly I remember people themselves for always and ever…strange brain of mine :-S

 

 

• In a movie a lady once said: “G—- Dear, do not speak until you can improve the silence!”……..I think should follow the advice and shut up…:-)

 

Bidding farewell!

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Up-sa-Daisy

Headaches are a bad thing…not that any types of aches are good 🙂

so anyways this isn’t about  aches and pains and crams or anything that hurtful at all, this is about happy things 🙂 Yesterday was a good day…a miracle day of sorts…comes out that yesterday we got our appraisal feedbacks whihc i had long forgotten and lost hope of anyway 😀

The thing is keh once you are engaged to be married the authorities in the office hardly put much care into your performance and upgrading…uh did i mention that this is the case if u are a female??? So anyways that’s why i wasn’t really waiting for my appraisal letter or anything…. but Lo and behold!! a mmulti recepient message on VYpress flashed acrossour screens announcing that our patience was finally to be paid off with the fruits we deserved 😀

Cutting a long story short! I got my level upgrading that means from level1 to level 2 oh it means i got a promotion (*Yowee!!*) and i got a nice raise, and i got eligible for a SIM and its allowance and ah the  cherry atop the sundae was the hefty bonus!!! (*Giggles….Giggles*)

Surprises such as these i can get used to 😉

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Taking a Tea Break :-D

I am very brave but still coward enough to avoid committing a social suicide…ummm Naah! not really …but still I tend to stay within the bounds of civic duty and sense …and one of which is to fulfill your promises!

 

So when yesterday at the Teabreakers union Ammar wrapped up the session with telling us that they’ll visit each of our blogs to see our thoughts about this small get together (basically trying to cover up for their laziness in formulating feedback forms 😛 ) we were all sort of bound by blog hood camaraderie to do a write up…..Actually lets just say, it is a good excuse to fight off the Monday Morning Blues in office 😉

 

Alrightey!! Yesterday when after dragging myself to CK for a Tea Break of another nature i was eager to see what this team of mindful thinkers was up to… I was a bit late …ok make that quite late (but I was trying to be in sync with Lubna’s arrival, who had gotten lost and got even late) and so when I arrived Madam JehanAra was speaking. Since I got a place to sit such that her back was to me so I was hardly able to hear what she had to share. Next was the introduction of ‘Next by Ramla’ 🙂 …by the time Ramla was speaking we had ourselves rearranged and so I could hear her loud and clear….

 

Ramla Shah talked about how she has now focused her entire energies on building up her website which has become a local as well as an international attraction. It was a good thought that she shared where she said that hers was an example of how a blog could become your life….me thinks it’s not a bad channel to touch hearts now ain’t it!!

 

Right after her it was my turn to do the speaking…put suddenly under the spotlight I began by introducing myself and after about some time through I suddenly exclaimed: “Btw I am sorry but what are we discussing around here???” That broke everybody up…but I was late remember?? So anyways After me Lubna did her bit of public speaking with her really nice punch line:

“Ammar you should have told me that we’ll have to deliver a speech I would have prepared one”

 

Then there were intros of Ammar, another member of Tea break team and another fellow who blogs about rock music plus another one who writes about news, events and his classes’ syllabi….So in all gathered there at the Hi Tea, sponsored by Tea Break was a set of diversely thinking individuals who wanted to come together and move towards raising a combined voice.

 

Guess being late robs you of being organized and makes you a bit  confused so that was with me too, otherwise the idea behind this get together would have been a lot more fruitful for me. The concept was all about sharing our views and news regarding the blogging world and how we can come together to raise our voice and be heard….because that is what it was all about…People having an opinion!!…and they having the patience to respect the other’s point of view!

 

I like the spread of tea things at CK though I don’t particularly like the dark and congested environ, but it was good to be enjoying a light snack while chatting away the time with people you know. The Tea Break T shirt was a plus too though I asked Ammar to give me an ‘L’ sized one…no no Not because I come in the gigantic category but because I don’t wear Tees and my brother, for whom I was taking it as a souvenir…is definitely from the league of those BIG BOYS!! J

 

 

So you ppl out there of the Tea Break team, you are on a good thing here because I can sense what the strength of  eager, active and thinking young minds can do…it can bring about a revolution of enlightenment where people care beyond…what’s it for dinner today ??? 😛

The Magic!

…and then we used to throw back our head and laugh…like really laugh that deep, careless laughter which bubbles up somewhere deep inside and spurts out like a spring of fresh water making everything inside clean, sparkling and surprisingly serene….Our eyes used to shine, reflecting the glimmers of pure joy off their moist surfaces while a stinted trail was followed by a lone drop of brine that fell off the corner of our eye as a result of uncontrolled exuberance. Faces flushed we used to clutch our sides and stomachs to hold that lightness that makes you think that you are just about to be lifted off the ground and float about since everything was so funny and full of happiness……yes those were the continual bouts of childhood laughter that often enveloped us when friends met. We giggled, we cackled, we howled and then we toppled over each other and took a sharp intake of breath to get some air in our hysterical little beings…and yet those long and short spells of laughter that were both mirthful and genuine were never followed by odd feelings of emptiness and wistful wishes of bringing back those times of being carefree…..that now trail every hollow cough of laughter…every little instant of euphoria is instantly succeeded by the fear of it being a moment long joy and never so true and pure as that time of magic laughter in which there was no dread of tomorrow, no panic of it being finite and no yearning of miracles that faded away to become a past!!

 How the degrees of happiness morph their state makes me appreciate the artistry of life….How from a splash of brilliance and energy of childhood it becomes muted into the pastel shades of elegance and grace of adulthood….And today is the day when those famous words of Faiz Ahmed Faiz that were always written on covers of my school copies, finally hit me with their meaning:

 “When you think of children laughing the whole world suddenly seems lit up….”

 Sometimes I so wish to experience those instances childhood magic of all consuming and all brightening laughter.

 May we all keep smiling…Aameen

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Note: picked up picks from deviant art.com and google images and then fused them together 🙂

Just a Note!

As it is I have been very lazy in answering to the comments that I get….Umm i hope you people won’t mind and keep on commenting…that is IF you want to 😉

Please don’t think that i have been abducted by aliens….nopse, just too much workload and blah blah blah

 

BUT I WILL be answering to all the comments, sooner than soon after all the weekend’s finally here

😀 YAY!!

 

 

P.S I opened Google to search the pic in the post below which btw I picked from www.deviantart.com and noticed the google logo in this futuristic, zig zag font in flouroscent colors

OBVIOUSLY i put my cursor on it and i found that Google is commemorating:

Invention of the FIRST LASER!!