There is nothing in the world more heart wrenching than a child wailing for a dead parent…..unless it’s a parent carrying the casket of his baby no matter how old he may be…..

I’ve been witness to the former situation and have heard of the latter ones. I remember how a second cousin of mine, just 10 then, cried by her deceased mother’s body. She had cried long and hard and then sat quietly by it tugging at the threads of her shroud to keep with her as a last memento of her loved mother. My Mom had gently taken away those frayed whites from her tearfully telling her that it’s no use, I had never thought my mother did something more cruel. I vividly remember that persistent satisfaction of my Khala’s still face, the glow that comes after a person comes out of a suffering long and intense…. I remember waking up in the middle of that night because my Khala’a  frozen form covered in snow white sheets kept haunting my dreams…I had uttered a cry of horror and instantly my Dad had come from the next room to take me to their room where I had cried myself to sleep between my Mother’s protective, warm embrace….ironically there being no comforting hollow around the grieving cousins of mine.

Two years later my very same cousins lost their father as well…and now almost nine years from hence they have come a long way, older brother working in a firm after competing his MBA, the other one commissioned in Army while taking an engineering degree from NUST, and the youngest, the sister I talked about is doing her Bachelor’s from Punjab University but not all’s well that ends well….Over the years, though not in close contact, I have had been in correspondence with my younger cousin who initially lived in Karachi with her instant uncle but then moved to Lahore with her eldest brother when the obvious taunting and hurting got beyond bearing. She has turned out to be quite a fine young lady, with elegance of carriage and polished manners and not to mention the dark, good looks with her huge eyes clearly reflecting the pain of hurt, anger, sadness accumulated over the years from their depths.

I had observed a few days back to my mother that there is something about the eyes of the people in pain. I had said that there is a certain stillness about someone in agony but who is not willing to open up to the world. When such people smile the mirth does not reach their eyes and that draws an aura of mystery around them…My cousin is rightfully lively and with us she laughs and talks like any other person her age but somewhere deep down she is as bitter and anguished as an eagle who has scratched its wing somewhere. At a very young age she’s experienced what it is lose someone and possibly the only people who care about you without any string attached, she’s learned how people could be saccharine sweet when circumstances want and how they turn into green faced goblins when the world turns around…and say as I might I can never (and I thank Allah mian for that too) really feel what she or people in her circumstances undergo…but don’t I wish there could be some way to suck out the pain from a heart bleeding silently.

It’s so easy for us to overlook the wholesomeness brought in our lives by the people who love us until we lose them. Sometimes you can do nothing about the loss but at other times often we ourselves let these precious gems slip out of our hands. Deep down we all know we love each other but are unable to say so…I seldom go up to my Mom or Dad and tell them how much they mean to me. I’ve almost never said outright to my brother that he is the one who has kept my world rocking and alive (and I’m not sure if I ever will directly either, I’m the cold one J) but I do always say that to my baby sister, I can’t be uppity with little children now can I? From all my heart I wish to hold on to these blessings of Almighty for a long, long time InshaAllah.

There is no replacement for those who go away as there is no immediate remedy for a broken and hurting heart. But there is a chance to live every moment with the people who make our days so much brighter and worth living for. But time is the only solution for people nurturing wounds on their soul and they need someone who’ll listen and understand what the silence in their eyes says, not shower them with unwanted pity. However this just goes to show that people in the world have so many bigger problems than we can imagine and yet we wallow in our small losses and defeats. I just hope we could snap out of our own petty miseries of not having the best car, of not having beauty and a great figure, of not being popular, of not having a well paying job, of not having glamour and fame in our lives, to realize how much other people need us and how we can make life a shade brighter for those around us….Wish we could just thank Allah(SWT) for His great blessings. Amen

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I dedicate this piece of writing to my cousin (who btw may never read this, she’s not into blogging) and to all those people who have lost someone they loved most dearly…I pray that may Almighty Allah bless their souls and give you the courage to live your lives again Amen.

And I also dedicate this piece of writing to a few of my those friends who have lost someone not to mortality (God forbid) but have just lost them because some things just could not be, I pray and hope that you guys could realize sooner than later that some people, as Daniele Steel says, come in our lives just like special gifts, meant to teach us something and then move away….there is a whole life ahead of you guys, Good Luck!